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Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course. Caddie: Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth. Golfer: This is the worst golf course I've ever played on! Caddie: This isn't the golf course, sir, we left that an hour ago.
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FileVW Golf 1.4 TSI Team (VI) Frontansicht, 26. März 2011, Ratingen.jpg Wikimedia Commons
A: Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf. Golfer: "I think I'll go drown myself in that lake.". Caddie: "I don't think you'll keep your head down long enough.". I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush, and one under the water.
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10. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. 11. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. 12. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players! 13. The difference between a whiff and a practice swing - no one curses after a practice.
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For the average player who has limited mobility, Kirk's old-school draw swing is worth emulating. Here's what you can learn from it. 1. Load your trail hip, but stay centered. To hit a draw.
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FileVW Golf 1.2 TSI Move (VI) Heckansicht, 25. August 2012, Velbert.jpg Wikimedia Commons
It's called an eraser.". - Arnold Palmer. "Golf: A game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.". - Unknown. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.". - Unknown. "Golf is a game where the ball always seems to roll towards the water.". - Unknown. "I'm not great at the advice.
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Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf. 23. Golfer: "I think I'll go drown myself in that lake.". Caddie: "I don't think you'll keep your head down long enough.". 24. Golf is a lot like taxes…you go for the green and come out in the hole! 25. It takes a serious amount of balls to golf like I do. 26.
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Especially if you struggle to remember the longer jokes. If you like the longer longer jokes, check out our selection of clean golf jokes here, or if you aren't easily offended, our rude golf jokes are here. If you are playing with a golfer who says they never cheat, they're also a liar. ———-. My golf game is a lot like masturbating.
FileVW Golf VI 1.6 20090620 front.JPG Wikimedia Commons
More Golf One-liners. The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. - Ben Hogan. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex -wives.
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No way. Golf, this is it. (input your H.S. name here) Ladies golf…. Where the eagles come easy! (input your H.S. name here) Ladies golf…. It was a pleasure Beating, I mean Meeting you! (Input your H.S. name here) Lady Launchers. Stand back and watch the Big Dog eat! (Input your H.S. name here) Ladies Golf….
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Fairway to heaven - play on words of Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin. Green and bear it - play on words of 'grin and bear it'. Kiss my putt - play on words of 'kiss my butt'. Swingin' in the rain - related to song Singin' in the Rain. Let's have a par-tee - party time after making par on the course.
FileVW Golf 1.jpg Wikipedia
How to watch 2024 Sony Open on TV. Golf Channel and NBC will provide TV coverage of the 2024 Sony Open. Check out the full Sentry TV schedule below. Thursday, Jan. 11: 7-10:30 p.m. ET (Golf Channel)
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Jack Napier. List of Golf Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Golf Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to.
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FileVW Golf 1.6 TDI Style (VI) Frontansicht, 25. Februar 2012, Ratingen.jpg Wikimedia Commons
"Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles." "There are three ways to lower your golf score: take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating." "Real golfers have two handicaps: one for bragging and one for betting." "Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh."
FileP089 VW Golf 1 GTi 2.jpg Wikimedia Commons
Here are some classic one-liners that golfers have been using for years: "Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five.". "They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.". "Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.".
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Kirk, 38, didn't touch a right-handed golf club for more than two months. Callaway, Kirk's equipment sponsor, set him up with a full left-handed bag, and he immediately got to work.
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Funny Golf Puns. Here are some of our favorite funny golf puns. Careful, putter fingers. I like to go clubbing… on the golf course. I usually golf in the mid 70's…. Any colder and I just stay home. Everybody trap your hands. Old golfers never die, they just keep putting along. I like big putts and I cannot lie.